SUPPORT for PEOPLE WITH AGING PARENTS

I am not a consultant and I won’t give you advise about what to do about your aging parents (or siblings, etc…). I will certainly understand your predicament, offer some guidance, and help you acknowledge all you are already doing. I’ll accompany you through the emotional ups and downs, and help you learn from the experience. When done consciously, this time of life can be used to improve relationships, learn to regulate emotions, become more accepting of what is, consider different options you may not have thought of before, and create more balance in your daily life.

For a few years, I was part of a care giver’s group that met twice a month and I tell you, that was invaluable. Later, I was trained to facilitate support groups by GPS, an incredible organization that has designed an approach to peer support that is trauma-informed and evidence-based. In other words, those folks have researched and tested out their system for over 15 years and they really know what works when it comes to peer support.

My groups are modeled on GPS, as well as other group work I’ve been involved with. Our time together is truly sacred and healing. It sends us all back out into our lives with more energy, resources, fortitude, and perspective.

For several years, I worked for a company that supported seniors and their adult children through the moving process. I worked with dozens of families and witnessed a wide range of situations. I learned about relationships, family dynamics, and communication; about elders’ needs for autonomy; and adult children’s desire for control (and vice versa!). Among many other topics, I learned about retirement and assisted living communities, rehab, living with low vision, and hospice.

I’ve also spent the last decade shepherding my own parents into old age. My mom has macular degeneration, so helping her live with eyesight that worsens every day has been an ongoing challenge. As the daughter who lives closest, I’ve been the one - on a daily basis - problem-solving, taking her to appointments, diving into her finances, cleaning the cat litter, and finding someone to help her (and me!) several hours/week.

I understand what it is like to support parents because I’m doing it, myself.