I’ve spent the last decade shepherding my own parents into old age. Helping my mom live with eyesight that worsens every day has been an ongoing challenge. As the daughter who lives closest, I’ve been the one - on a daily basis - problem-solving, taking her to appointments, diving into her finances, cleaning the cat litter, and finding someone to help her (and me!) several hours/week.

I understand what it is like to support parents because I’m doing it, myself.

Beyond my personal experience, however, I worked for several years for a company that supported older adults and their families through the moving process. I worked with dozens of families and witnessed a wide range of situations. I learned about relationships, family dynamics, and communication; about elders’ needs for autonomy; and adult children’s desire for control (and vice versa!). Among many other topics, I learned about retirement and assisted living communities, rehab, the importance of advocating for elders when in the hospital, the challenge of living with low vision, and the benefits and challenges of hospice. When working as a coach or certified group peer support facilitator, I draw on all of my personal and professional experience.

I have a 94-year-old mom with severe Macular Degeneration. Everything she can still see is completely blurred and reading is almost impossible. As we were just figuring out how to help her adjust to this, I joined a care giver’s group that met twice a month. And I tell you, that was invaluable.

Later, I was certified to facilitate support groups by GPS, an incredible organization that has designed an approach to peer support that is trauma-informed and evidence-based. Those folks have researched and tested out their system for over 15 years and they really know what works.

My groups are modeled on GPS, as well as other group work I’ve been involved with. Our time together is truly sacred and healing. Being together is a salve for when supporting our parent(s) really hurts, frightens, or overwhelms us. After a session together, we are able to head back out into our lives with more energy, resources, fortitude, and perspective.

Coaching is accompanied learning, and coaching care givers is no different. There is a curriculum to discover and learn from when we take on - or are handed - the role of supporting our aging parents. If you are open to exploring that and using it to develop yourself, connect more with others, and find more peace, I would love to work with you.

When done consciously, this time of life can be used to improve relationships, learn to regulate emotions, become more accepting of what is, consider different options you may not have thought of before, and create more balance in your daily life.

I am not a consultant and I won’t give you advice about what to do about your aging parents (or siblings, etc…). I will certainly understand your predicament, offer some guidance, and help you acknowledge all you are already doing. I’ll accompany you through the emotional ups and downs, and help you learn from the experience.